A Reason
by hopelesslyhalfhearted
Summary: There's a reason for everything. Life, death, separation, hard times, good times. Love.
1. Chapter 1

_I'm sat in my grandparents house wondering what story I can write whilst I'm here, when i realise all my next chapters for my stories are saved on my computer. Then i get upset, because well....I love writing. So then I start thinking....hmmmm what can I write? So here I am starting yet again ANOTHER story. I have absolutly no idea where this is going, which is nothing new. I just thought of a twist in the characters kinda backgrounds blah blah blah. I'm not sure if its anything original or anything good, i'm not sure if ill even write anything past the first chapter. But i just wanted to see what i thought of. _

_I've been thinking maybe i could do something in the style of how i met your mother or definatly maybe, but with the oc. I'm not sure. Give me some ideas for plotlines or whatever._

_I got review saying i wrote the best R/M stories. Thats one big complient that im not sure is true. I swear by the greatness of chinocoop and champagnewishes and all you other amazing writers out there that my ridiculously bad memory has manage to forget. They are all LEGENDARY!. Im afraid i can never be the best when they're writing :D So basically i'll only be the best when theres nobody else and no competition :D_

_reviews are now compulsory. if you do not review i shall find where you live and fill your matress with rubber ducks so everytime you lay down it squeaks :D its really easy to review click the big button at the bottom you dont even need to have an account! _

_but youre stil amazing people for reading it. and for still loving r/m_

_now one shall stop one's ramblings and continue with one's story_

_xoxo_

"So, you're back again," The boy stayed silent, a somber look on his face. "Are you going to apolgize?" The boy remained silent. "Are you even going to talk, Mr Atwood?" The teenager remained silent. "Maybe you should go to counselling,"

"For...?"

"You need reasons? Ok, let me see, where should we start...let's go from the top. Truancy, fights, other violence, one case of arson somehwere along the line..."

"Wouldn't you normally get expelled for all that?"

"Well...yes, but..."

"But my father invests too much money in the school for you to do that, so i get off without any consequences,"

"Oh, trust me there will be consequences,"

"Sure, like last time? God, a Saturday detention, what hardship. And all just because I hit a teacher. God, such a little thing," Ryan said sarcastically.

"Don't you dare be sarcy with me," The headmaster warned.

"There's really no incentive for me to behave if nothing happens to me," Ryan stood up.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"It's home time. I gotta be somewhere," Ryan didn't give any further explanation before leaving.

"That boy," Dr. Williams muttered to himself. He waited a while before calling in his next pupil. "Yes?" He asked of the blonde, green eyed teenager who now stood in front of him. Her hair was left to hang down her back.

"It's my first day, the secretary told me to give you this report from my teachers,"

"Oh, you must be Marissa Cooper. Thank you, I'm sure they're all good,"

"I hope so," Marissa said before leaving his office.

"Now why can't every teenager be like that?" He spoke to himself again.


	2. Chapter 2

"Hey, Ryan," Luke said, getting his friend's attention. "Behind you to your right," Ryan looked over his shoulder. "How hot is she?"

"She's beautiful," Ryan said. He stared at her for a while. She was laughing at something that geeky kid Cohen had said. She was the new girl.

"Beautiful?" Another one of the gang questioned.

Ryan then realised what he had said. "I mean, she's smoking. Reserved for me," Ryan said quickly.

"They're all reserved for you," Luke laughed.

"I'm going to go...speak to her," Ryan stood up and slung his bag over his shoulder. "Later,"

"See you, bro," Luke said. Ryan walked over to Marissa.

"Hey," Ryan said as he came to their table, they both looked up.

"Hey," Marissa returned. Seth so shocked that someone had said something to me without the word queer entering, that he was lost for words, which was defiantly a rare happening. "Can I help you?" Marissa asked.

"Yeah, um, there's something up with my cell," Ryan said handing the girl his phone.

"Erm," She was confused as to why he thought she could fix it. "Erm, what seems to be the problem?"

"It hasn't got your number in it," Ryan said, now grinning. This line always worked; which explained why he was so shocked when Marissa just muttered something under her breath, shoved the phone back in his hands and turned back to Seth. "Ok..." Ryan didn't know how to react to rejection. "Well...erm, can I know your name? That way I can put an entry in, but the number will have to be added at a later date,"

"Go away, Ryan," Seth said firmly.

"You know, I would have thought she was already taken...if you weren't gay," Ryan said before walking off.

"You know, my record for one day was 53," Seth said to Marissa.

"For what?"

"People calling me gay,"

"Oh," Marissa said. "So, hanging out with you is what they'd call social suicide?"

"Yep, is that a problem?"

"No, it's brilliant,"

"Brilliant?"

"They all seem like jerks anyway,"

"God, you really are a fast learner,"

"Ok, so point this Summer girl out to me," Seth pointed to a brunette who was laughing with a group of friends, set at the table next to Ryan's mates. "Wow, opposites really do attract,"

"Yeah, well, see....that's the problem. She's not really...attracted to me,"

"Bummer,"

"Yep."

"So, that guy that just hit on me...?" Marissa asked.

"Ryan Atwood. Biggest bank account and biggest ego. Don't get close to him; he's the biggest jerk of all of them. He's probably been with every girl in school,"

"Been?"

"I think everyone lost their virginity to Ryan."

"I'm surprised there aren't more jealous ex's around,"

"That's the thing he doesn't have ex's. He doesn't date. No girlfriends. Every girl whose ever agreed to give him their number knows he'll only use it to invite them to a party, so they can then have drunken sex, then he'll never call them back,"

"I'm starting to think jerk is an understatement for describing him,"

"Yeah, so am I,"

"I better get to biology,"

"You want me to show you?"

"It's ok; I got this map thing,"

"You know the women's part of the brain that reads maps is actually less developed than in a man,"

"Thanks Seth...you really out geeked yourself there,"

"I try my best," Seth smiled. "See you after school at the lockers,"

"See you," It didn't take Marissa long to find her science room and luckily she was one of the first people there and so got free choice of where to sit. She decided on a seat that didn't face the window. Less distraction. She really needed to focus if she wanted to do medicine at college. A slow stream of teenagers walked in, none of them sat beside her. The lesson began and Marissa was still on a desk by herself. Ten minutes into the lesson the last student arrived.

"Hello," The teacher said. "I see you haven't changed over the summer," The newcomer just shrugged. "Detention with me after school," The teacher handed him a detention slip. "Sit down," Marissa sighed at she realised the seat next to her was the only available one. He sat down next her, got his books out and then practically threw his bag on the floor, as if he were trying to dent it.

"Hey, Atwood, you on for the party tonight?" The guy on the desk behind whispered.

"Sure," Ryan replied.

"Awesome,"

"Stop talking," The teacher shouted. "I've got to go out for a few minutes. I expect you to be working when I get back,"

"So," Ryan turned towards Marissa. "Hey again,"

"Hello,"

"So, there's this party tonight...I wondered if you wanted to come?" Marissa thought back to her conversation with Seth. _He'll only use it to invite them to a party, so they can then have drunken sex. _

"No, thanks,"

"Oh," Ryan wasn't sure how to deal with rejection. And now it had happened twice in less than an hour. Usually he would move on to another target, but this girl was different. He didn't know why, she just...was. "I'm not going to give up,"

"Well, neither am I,"

"And how can you be so sure?"

"Can't you see I'm busy?"

"Doing work? Come on, we're in high school, you think anyone apart from Cohen does work? It's all about the after school, the party's. School is merely a party planning session,"

"Whatever," Marissa sighed and got back to her work.

"So, would you come to this party if it wasn't me who asked?" Marissa didn't reply. "Are you ignoring me? That's really mature, Cooper," Ryan ended up leaving her alone and talking to the guy behind him. But he wasn't going to give up.


	3. Chapter 3

Seth was walking home. It was a nice day-even by Newport's standards- and he thought he might stop off for a balboa bar or something. "Seth...Seth," Seth turned around to see who was calling him by his actual name. He knew it wasn't Marissa, it was a male voice. "Seth," The out of breath teenager stood in front of him now.

"Atwood?" Seth asked, confused.

"Look, I know we don't...get along." Ryan began. "Can we walk?"

"Sure," They walked silently for a while, Ryan caught his breath.

"Ok, so I know we don't get along,"

"Is that your way of admitting to being a dick?"

"Look. I shouldn't say some of that stuff, but, I mean, everyone does." Seth shot him a look, even though it wasn't a very good one Ryan managed to interpret it. "Ok, ok...but this isn't what I'm here for." Ryan took a deep breath. "You're good friends with Marissa, right?"

"Oh no, no way am I helping you get into her pants,"

"Look, it's not like that," Ryan said desperately.

"Sure, tiger,"

"Seth, please. What does she like? What doesn't she like?"

"It's quite simple really. She doesn't like you. She doesn't like all your jerky mates. She doesn't like the way you guys act. I don't think she particularly likes Newport."

"Ok," Ryan thought for a moment. "See you queer,"

"What the hell?" Seth muttered to himself, totally confused by Ryan's behaviour. He had seemed to behaving nice enough. And then his last remark had almost seemed as he was using the word queer affectionately, well as affectionate as 'queer' could sound. Seth spent the whole walk home thinking about it. He came to the obvious conclusion that Ryan simply wanted to know how to get Marissa. And then after getting her he would have left her.

**************

"Atwood," The teacher called. Ryan stood up and went to collect his test paper. "Disappointing even by your standards." The teacher handed him a paper with a red F on. "I'll be pairing you with a pupil tutor. Maybe then you'll eventually get better than a kindergartener." The class didn't dare laugh. Nobody laughed at Ryan Atwood. Sure he was friends with all of them, but he could hurt anyone if they got on the wrong side of him. Captain of the soccer team and boxing champion, he wasn't someone to mess with. "See me after school for your pairing," Ryan shrugged and sat back down.

"Well done," Ryan commented on Marissa's A score. She ignored him. She had been doing for the past 3 weeks.

**************

"Mr. Atwood you're finally here, take a seat," Ryan had been walking as slowly as possible. He didn't want a tutor. What a waste of time. He looked around the room. There were a few people from his grade who had volunteered to tutor and the rest of the pupils were from grades below. He noticed Marissa sat on one side of the class talking energetically to Seth.

"Sir, I'm really busy," Ryan began. "I don't really have time to take a seat. Just tell me my tutor, when I have to go to their house, blah blah blah. I get how it works,"

"Take a seat, Ryan," Reluctantly Ryan sat in his normal place. He looked at his watch. 4pm. He might have to phone and say he'd be late to the beach. "Pairings. Ward you're with Taylor. Jones and Park. Daniels and Smith." The list went on until he finally reached Ryan. "Atwood and Cooper,"

"Me, sir?" Marissa asked.

"Yes, Marissa,"

"But...but I thought we were only tutoring younger kids,"

"Well, I think we can class Atwood as younger, considering his lack of maturity,"

"Sir, don't you think maybe it would be better if we went with someone our gender, you know, we could bond better?" Marissa objected.

"No. You two will do fine. You can help him in class as well, considering you sit next to each other. Now, here are your study timetables," The teacher handed out pieces of paper. Eventually people left the room along with the teacher leaving just Ryan and Marissa. Marissa was absolutely fuming. As if a year of having to be around this jerk in school wasn't enough.

"So, it says the first study session is tonight," Ryan was the first to speak.

"Wow, you can read," Ryan ignored her.

"My place or yours?"

"Mine. Hurry up, I'm meant to be meeting Cohen after we've finished." Marissa led him out to her car.

"Are you guys...you know?"

"Dating? Seriously, you have trouble saying the word dating?"

"What? No I don't, I just...are you dating?"

"No,"

"It kinda looks like you are,"

"What would you know? You don't date."

"Of course, you know all about me, don't you?" Ryan said sarcastically. He was annoyed at her now. That she'd just immediately hate him just because of what someone said, not giving him time to prove himself. They drove in silence.

"We're here," She announced.

"Nice place," Ryan complimented. "Where did you live before?" He asked as they went upstairs.

"New York,"

"Right in the city?"

"Yeah,"

"Wow. How was that?"

"Pretty good."

"So, you prefer it there?"

"How about we just do biology,"

"Sounds like a plan," And so Ryan sat, listening to her running through things with him. Sometimes he didn't hear what she said, he just heard her. 2 hours and he didn't hit on her once. It was the longest time he'd been with a girl since 7th grade without any intimacy or flirting.

"Bye," Marissa stood on her doorstep. Ryan had decided to walk home, save her any trouble.

"See you," Ryan replied before walking down the driveway. He got halfway down before he stopped and ran back up. "So there's this party tonight on the beach. Really nice atmosphere, really romantic," It was the last two words that helped Marissa make up her mind.

"I'd never see you out of school by choice. Especially not so you can hook up with me at one of your party's. See you next session," She slammed the door in his face. Ryan really didn't know how to act around her. He'd never liked a girl like this before. It was strange. It was scary. He wasn't sure whether he liked it. Too many strings attached. And for the first time ever Ryan's feelings had just been because of a girl.


	4. Chapter 4

"Luke," Ryan and his friend lay on floats in the middle of his pool.

"Yeah?"

"Have you ever...liked a girl?"

"Liked a girl? Damn, course I have,"

"No, I mean...really liked."

"Like girlfriend feelings?"

"Yeah,"

"Everyone has,"

"So you have?"

"You know Holly?"

"Yeah?"

"She's the only girl in school I haven't slept with, apart from the new girl of course."

"How come?"

"I like her...like a girlfriend. I don't want her to be just another girl who I sleep with. I don't want her to be ok with just sleeping with me. If I did sleep with her I'd want her insist that I was her boyfriend and that it wasn't just a one off thing. Cause for me it wouldn't be a onetime thing,"

"But you never talk to Holly unless you have to,"

"Exactly. I just can't. I know I'll end up treating her like I do every other girl because I just can't help it and I don't want to treat her like that. And Ryan, we're jocks; destined to not have a serious girlfriend until after high school." Ryan stayed silent. He couldn't like Marissa. It was wrong. It went against all his rules on girls. "Ryan,"

"Yeah?"

"If you tell anyone what I've said I will hit you so hard you won't remember who you are when you wake up,"

"I won't say a word,"

"How come you wanted to know?"

"No reason,"

"Come on,"

"I was just...I guess it's like...we've only got 2 years of high school yet and I haven't even had a proper girlfriend,"

"You're jealous of all the guys who aren't allowed to do whatever they want whenever they want, the guys who have to consult their girlfriend before they do stuff, who feel the need to get her approval, guys who tell their girlfriend everything, that are practically joint at the hip with their girl?" Luke was trying to make being a couple sound unappealing. But for Ryan that was a bit like what he wanted. In fact it was exactly what he wanted with Marissa.

"No. I was just thinking about it."

"Good, I don't think I could face losing you to a girl," Ryan pretended to laugh. Luke fell for it. All was well with the Ryan's world...on the outside.

*****************

"Ok, respiration?"

"Breathing..." Ryan said hesitantly.

"Seriously? You're 16 and you can't describe respiration?"

"Hey you're meant to be a tutor! You're not meant to be putting me down,"

"Whatever. You were meant to look at it over the weekend,"

"First it's really odd being given homework by someone my age...secondly I had better things to do,"

"What parties?"

"No actually, but, hey, we'll go with parties if it shuts you up." It seemed all they ever did was argue. That couldn't be right Ryan thought. People didn't argue with the person they liked. So did that mean he didn't like her? God, it was confusing. Why couldn't she have just stayed in New York? "What's respiration then, Einstein?"

"Chemical process that makes energy. Glucose and oxygen make water and carbon dioxide. Look in the book it tells you. Breathing is what they tell you in like second grade,"

"Whatever,"

"Read the book. I need to do English,"

"Sure," Ryan read in silence, occasionally glancing over at Marissa. After 30 minutes he gave up trying to ignore the fact he knew the answer the question she was stuck on. "O me! What eyes hath love put in my head, which have no correspondence with true sight? Or if they have where is my judgment fled, that censures falsely what they see aright?"

"Why did you just quote that? Somehow I didn't take you for a spontaneous Shakespeare quoter,"

"He's saying that love is magical and that it makes people look at each other in an unspoiled way, without judgment,"

"Hey...you just answered my question...I've been trying to figure that out for ages...how did you know that?"

"I've already done it," Ryan lied.

"Oh," Marissa was taken aback. "How come you helped me?"

"Well, you're helping me with something I can't do, but you can. And I'm helping you with something I can do but you can't. It seems like a fair payment,"

"You've just been unjerky. What's wrong with you?"

"I think I'm a bit too hot. You really should open some windows," Ryan joked. Marissa laughed. He looked down at his watch. "Crap, I've got to go...I'm really late,"

"What party are you going to now?"

"Contrary to popular belief I don't go to a party every night," Marissa raised an eyebrow. "Though tonight is Friday, the biggest party of the week...so tonight I am going to one. Erm...you wanna come?" And there she was thinking he was becoming decent.

"Has this one got a romantic atmosphere too?"

"About that..."

"It's fine; you find it impossible to be just friends with a girl. I think I'll skip the party,"

"Oh. I'll see you." Ryan left. This time he didn't turn around and run back, he just carried on walking. And for the second time in his life a girl had made him feel bad.


	5. Chapter 5

"Got any further with Summer?" Marissa asked.

"No. And it's pretty much impossible when I can't see her anywhere apart from class,"

"Ask her out,"

"No way,"

"Why?"

"I did it before. It went something like, Hey, you wanna go on a date?" Seth put on a deep masculine voice. "EW, no way." Seth finished with his attempt at a girls voice.

"So you got rejected, you can always try again,"

"I got rejected in front of the whole class,"

"The whole class...?"

"It was on a field trip in like 8th grade."

"Oh. And you haven't spoken to her since?"

"Nope,"

"Seriously, how can you still like her?"

"Trust me, sometimes I wish I didn't. But I can't help it. When you like someone you can't just switch off your feeling for them,"

"Yeah."

"So how's tutoring the Neanderthal going?"

"It's ok I guess."

"Ok? I was expecting comments about his horrible flirting and invites to parties,"

"I guess he's kinda realised I don't like him,"

"Right..." Something was up, Seth didn't quite know what. "That's not strange at all," Seth said sarcastically. "The other day he actually talked to me...voluntarily...about you...you don't think...oh my god you've broken into Ryan's stone cold 'Girls are toys' heart,"

"Running the risk of sounding like all the other girls around here...EW! He doesn't like me and even if he did I certainly don't like him,"

"Good, because you can't like him. He's...Atwood,"

"Surely by that logic you can't like Summer,"

"Summer's different. She used to feed half her lunch to this squirrel because it was the skinniest squirrel. And once she wrote this amazing poem. She has decency buried deep within her and I shall be the one to bring it out to blossom. Whereas Ryan...he's always been a jerk,"

"Right...It all doesn't matter anyway seeing as I really can't stand him."

"Good. That's my girl," Marissa's phone rang.

"It's my Mom," Marissa flipped open her phone. "Hi...not really...no, I can come...what's up?...I thought he was flying in today...ok...yeah...see you...bye,"

"What did she want?"

"I've got to go home. You know my Dad was meant to flying in today, moving in properly,"

"Yeah,"

"Something's up. She's probably getting me worried and then she'll surprise me with him being there, she's done that kinda thing before,"

"That's sweet,"

"Yeah, well, I'll see you,"

"Mind if I finish your balboa bar?"

"Munch away,"

"See you,"

"Bye Seth,"

************

Ryan knocked on her door. "Mrs. Cooper?" The lady that stood in front of him had a stern look on her face.

"Hey, sweetie. I don't think Marissa is really up to a session today,"

"Oh." Ryan thought for while. "Can I...see her?"

"She's up in her room," Julie replied.

"Thanks," Ryan went upstairs and knocked softly on her door.

"Mom, I don't want to speak to you. GO AWAY!" A voice from within shouted.

"Hey," Ryan said softly into the door.

"God, I forgot about you. Go away," Marissa shouted again, this time a little quieter. Ryan ignored her and went in. "I said go away." Marissa was sat on her bed. Tears streaming down her face and onto a picture she was holding.

"What's up?" Ryan asked gently.

"Go away." Ryan ignored her order and sat down on the bed next to her.

"Is that your family?"

"It used to be."

"Used to be?"

"My Dad was meant to be moving in today. But Mom's met someone new and he's staying in New York and their getting a divorce and...why am I even telling you this? It's not like you care. I haven't even told Seth yet," She carried on crying. She hated that he saw her like this. She didn't want him to see her like this. Vulnerable.

"I can show you a really good place to think..."

"What?"

"I...I have this place where I go to think about stuff. I'll show you it."

"What could you possibly have to think about?" Marissa realised after she said this how hurtful it was. Though she was so upset she couldn't really care.

"Just...it doesn't matter. The point is...let me just drive you there,"

"How do I know you're not just going to take me to some sleezy motel and..." Ryan stopped her.

"Because you're clearly upset...distraught might be a better word. I don't know what Cohen says to you or what message my behaviour gives you, but I know I'm a jerk and an idiot, but I'm not that bad." Marissa stayed looking at the photo, though she was thinking about his words. "Just trust me. It's a 5 minute drive. I've got my car." Ryan stood up and held the door open for her. She sat on the bed thinking for a while then got up and went downstairs.

"Marissa, we need to talk," Marissa ignored her mother and went straight out the front door. Julie followed her. "Stop being so god damn immature! I know you're upset, but we need to talk about it," Marissa just got into Ryan's car. "Where are you taking her?" Julie demanded.

"Somewhere quiet where she can her head round it all,"

"No you're not. If you have any sense you'll leave her here to talk to me!"

"If you have any sense you'll leave her alone," Ryan replied bitterly before getting in the driver's seat and reversing onto the road. They drove in silence.

"The beach?" Marissa replied. Seriously, this guy was unbelievable. She was expecting a quiet secluded spot. But the beach? It was dark and Marissa could make out people in her grade hanging around it. He really was a jerk. "A party? You idiot! I can't believe you!" Marissa was still crying.

"Will you just trust me?" Ryan grabbed her hand and pulled her with him.

"Let go!"

"Just shut up, ok? They'll hear you." Ryan kept walking along the very top of the beach, it was the darkest part and luckily in their drunken states nobody recognised two figures hurrying along the sand. He continued for about 5 minutes before reaching his destination. He climbed up the ramp and instructed Marissa to do the same. "I come here a lot. It's an escape, I guess. Look, I'll be in the car...so when you need a lift home..." Ryan trailed off.

"Stay," Marissa requested. She had no idea why. It seemed like the natural reaction. He was being nice. Ryan was taken aback and stood awkwardly for a second before sitting down on the old, sandy, wooden boards of the lifeguard station opposite Marissa. She sat silently. The tears had stopped and were now replaced by anger.

"Sometimes I wish my parents were divorced,"

"What?"

"They hate each other." Ryan answered simply. "It's strange that when they got married they felt that the other person was perfect for them, that they truly loved them and now...now they can't even be in the same room. It's like all the things they used to love about each other they now can't stand."

"Yeah. I guess. But my parents don't argue. They never have. I think you have to be in love in the first place to be able to argue. Mom just married Dad for the money and he only married her because she was pregnant."

"It puts you off marriage doesn't it?"

"Not really,"

"No?"

"You just have to find the right person,"

"And who would the right person be?"

"To start with he'd throw pebbles at my window and go on moonlit walks with me...god, I can't believe I'm telling you all this stuff,"

"I can't believe I'm being so nice to a girl," Ryan smiled his typical half smile. "I haven't talked to anyone about my parents...so..."

"My lips are sealed." For some reason Marissa starting crying again. "I really don't want them to get divorced," Ryan wasn't sure what to do. He shuffled over and let her put her head on his shoulder, hoping she wouldn't reject the simple friendly gesture. She didn't.

"I know. It might be better that way...maybe they can be happy...I mean, you said that they don't love each other...them being apart doesn't stop you being happy either...I mean, I know everyone says this...but they'll still love you just as much," Ryan wasn't very good at emotional situations. So he sat in silence, letting her cry until she had no tears left.

"Thanks," She sniffed.

"No problem," Ryan shuffled back to his seat opposite her. She wiped her eyes and nose before smiling vaguely at him.

"You said this place is an escape...from what?" She asked hesitantly.

"Big news...you and Seth aren't the only people who don't like Newport," Ryan looked down at his feet.

"You don't like Newport?"

"You really think all of us wanted to be the jerky jocks with no decency? You think I give a crap about the soccer scholarship? I really couldn't care less to be honest...but it's my parents dream...I've been doing it so long, I don't really know how to do anything else." Ryan stood up. "Don't always judge a book by its cover, huh? Will you be ok getting home?" Marissa nodded. "Don't tell anyone what I said. Not even Cohen." Ryan looked back briefly. "Talk to Cohen about your parents. He's good with the whole emotional thing...apparently,"

"I think you did pretty well," She called after him.

"Yeah, well, I've got a campfire to go to. See you," Why does he do that? She thought to herself. He is perfect, really nice...no, really lovely. Then he goes back to his normal self. She couldn't understand it. It was like he was 2 different people. She just didn't know which one was the real him.


	6. Chapter 6

"Seth...Seth," Seth had déjà vu. He turned around and saw Ryan running towards him

"Hey, again," Seth greeted.

"Hey, Seth. Look, there's this party tonight..."

"No, I'm not inviting Marissa for you,"

"I was actually just going to say you can come if you want,"

"What? Huh? Atwood, repeat. I don't think I believe what I just heard," Ryan glared at him. "Wow. Looks say everything. Erm...why are you inviting me?"

"I just...look...bring Marissa along...I promise I won't even talk to her if she doesn't want me to...I just...she's having a rough time I think,"

"Yeah she is...why don't you just invite her?"

"She wouldn't say yes to me and...if I invited her she'd think I was trying to ask her on a date...which I'm not, I promise."

"So you need me?"

"I can get Summer talking to you..."

"What? You'd do that?"

"Sure, but I can't promise she's going to fall in love with you or anything...that's up to you."

"I'm in!" Seth said ecstatically.

"Just...just don't tell anyone I invited you ok?"

"Sure."

"Oh and here's two ticket things. Show them if anyone gives you any trouble."

"You're being ridiculously nice..."

"Cohen, this never happened as far as anyone else is concerned...ok?"

"What happened?"

"Me inviting you...me being..."

"Ryan, I was joking, highlighting the fact that I had already forgotten what had happened. God, you don't really do sarcasm do you?"

"Not when all my mates are walking this way and might see us talking. Bye," Ryan ran off to join the pack.

"Bye," Seth muttered to himself. He then jumped up and down and busted some 'moves'. Finally, a chance with Summer.

****************

"Marissa, please come,"

"Seth, you hate all their parties!"

"That's only cause I'm never invited!"

"Who invited you?"

"Oh just someone. You don't know them,"

"Oh, right," Marissa had sort of hoped it would have been Ryan. She was desperately trying to work who he really was.

"Please come. I really need to speak to Summer...for me?"

"For you. But never again ok?"

"Sure. Now, you'll need clothes,"

"I kinda figured that,"

"No, you'll need NEWPORT clothes."

"Seth, I've got NEWPORT clothes," Marissa mimicked. "What do you think my Mom does with her spare time?"

"You must be such a disappointment to her, not wanting to be a Barbie doll and all,"

"Tell me about it,"

"Ok, so I'll pick you up at like 8,"

"Fine. You owe me one,"

"I know, I'm forever indebted to your loveliness,"

"Go away and let me get ready,"

"Bye,"

"See you,"

******************

"Right, we don't need to knock do we? No. Right let's just walk in and..."

"Seth, chill out."

"Yep. Yep. Cool, calm collected, confident. That's what will attract Summer. Right. Let's go." Marissa laughed at his insecurity. "Awesome party." Seth said looking around. Music played loud and various people from his grade filled the room, leaving barely any room for movement.

"What's queer doing here?" Luke asked angrily. Ryan and the rest of the jocks looked around, searching Seth out.

"What the hell?" Another one commented. Luke began moving towards Seth and Marissa. Luke stood right in Seth's face.

"Erm...hey guys," Seth muttered.

"Invitation only, queer. You and you're geek friend can go home," Luke sneered. Marissa looked at Ryan. He wasn't doing anything to stop what was inevitably going to end up in a fight.

"We got ticket...things," Seth flashed the paper Ryan had given him.

"Where did you get this queer?"

"I got invited,"

"Who would invite you?" Seth didn't reply, knowing that whatever lie he told Luke would be able to double check and knowing he couldn't tell the truth. Luke grabbed the neck of Seth's shirt. "Answer me, you queer. You faked that invite didn't you?" Ryan stepped in.

"Luke, put him down." Ryan said calmly. "LUKE PUT HIM DOWN!"

"Ryan why you defending the queer?"

"He's got an invite. Some idiot here obviously invited them. Just let them stay. They're not causing any trouble,"

"Only cause it's you Ryan." Luke reluctantly let go of Seth and went back to the others.

"Thanks man."

"Don't talk to me. I'm going to get Summer into the garden. Follow me, but stay outta sight until I give you a signal and you guys can be alone," Ryan hurried off. Seth and Marissa followed after, though keeping a gap between them and him. They got into the garden and hid in the shadows cast by the pool house. Ryan brought Summer down to the pool side. Before Ryan could say anything Summer had started kissing him passionately. Ryan kissed her back.

"Fucking hell," Seth said. He should have known Ryan wasn't being truthful, but before he could leave something strange happened. He watched eyes wide as Ryan pushed Summer away. Ryan never ever rejected a girl. Never. It was a fact. The sun always rises in the east...it's set in stone. So was the fact Ryan didn't reject girls. Seth was confused. So was Marissa. So was Summer. Ryan was the only one with a reasonably straight mind.

"Summer, I can't," Ryan backed away slowly.

"What did I do wrong?"

"Nothing, nothing...I didn't come out here with you to...do that,"

"What? You always come out to a pool house to do...that,"

"I don't. Do I? Shit, I do. I'm that predictable."

"Apparently not as this really isn't how I predicted it."

"Ok...Summer...listen this is...going to be odd,"

"You're telling me? You never reject girls,"

"Yeah and I was never rejected until this year,"

"What?"

"Nothing, I...I didn't mean to say that out loud," Marissa's eyes were now wider than Seth's. Ryan seemed genuinely hurt by her.

"Who rejected you?"

"It doesn't matter. The point is...I can't do...it with you because...someone I know really likes you. And he's awesome. He really is. And he'll be so lovely to you and romantic and...he'll...he'd do anything for you. If you just give him the chance,"

"Who's this dude? Luke? We both know Luke isn't the romantic type,"

"He's the total opposite of Luke...he's...I don't know...he's funny and smart and..." Ryan found him using words Marissa had used to describe her best friend during one tutoring session when he had asked why she was friends with Seth. "He's a really great guy,"

"Opposite of Luke...everyone around here is the same as Luke apart from...Cohen? Ew, Ryan you want to set me up with Cohen?"

"This isn't really how I planned this. Look, he's great. And I think you like him too,"

"What? That's ridiculous,"

"Is it? Who tells us to stop it when we tease him? Who tells us it's not fair to call him a queer? Who had a rage blackout, gave me a black eye and refused to speak to me for a month when they found out I had made up Death Breath Seth? It was you Summer."

"Ryan, what's got into you? You're being...you're not being you...you haven't been to the principal's office in like a month, which is just not normal...you barely come to parties and you're actually doing your tutor sessions unlike every other year where you just refused. I don't get it,"

"Trust me, neither do I. But this isn't about me, it's..."

"Oh my god! You like a girl,"

"What?"

"You like a girl. You're not partying. I bet you haven't slept with anyone since summer...and you're doing tutoring sessions...I've got it! I've actually got it!"

"What've you got?"

"You like Coop!"

"Coop?"

"Oh, it's what I call the new girl. Cooper just doesn't sound right."

"You haven't spoken to her and you've given her a nickname?"

"Well, I thought we could be friends until Cohen came along and..."

"Summer. Shut up. We're off course. Look. Cohen is at this party somewhere and...shit," Ryan had just remembered he had told them to follow him. To stay out of sight till he gave a signal. Which meant they must have heard every single word he had said. Crap. "Erm, Summer don't tell anyone about what I've done, ok?"

"Er...sure,"

"Seriously. Just don't. It's wrong for me on so many levels. I'm kinda still getting over the fact that I just rejected the only girl in our grade that I haven't slept with..."

"Apart from Coop?"

"Can you just not talk about that? And don't tell anyone about the conversation either,"

"What conversation?" Summer said jokingly.

"You're so much like Seth,"

"What?"

"I'll explain another time. Look. Summer give Seth a chance, ok?" Summer nodded. "Seth, Marissa. You can come out now." Ryan said. Summer had a heart attack when Marissa and Seth emerged from the side of the pool house. "Have fun,"

"RYAN!" Luke ran towards them. "Man, why aren't you in there? It's awesome!" Luke was obviously drunk. "What you doing with the geeks? Summer? Shit have you finally got with Summer?"

"I bet there are some hot chicks in there that you haven't met yet,"

"SURE THERE IS! You wanna come help me?"

"I'll see you in there buddy," Luke ran back inside, spilling half his beer as he went. "See you," Ryan walked away around the outside of the house. The others ran after him.

"Thanks," Seth said breathing heavily. God he was so unfit.

"No problem."

"Why aren't you going inside?" Summer asked.

"I think I should go home..."

"Hey, we could go with you. We're all friends, right?"

"I've set you up with Summer and you want to come over to my house? Christ, maybe you are gay," Ryan joked.

"NO GAY JOKES! They hurt here," Seth pressed hand against his heart.

"Yeah, well I've got a soccer match tomorrow. See ya," Ryan jogged away before anyone could say anything else.

"He's being..." Summer began."Strange,"

"Well, I ain't complaining," Seth said happily. "Summer do you want to...go inside?"

"Cohen, I'm not hanging around this party with you. Let's go down to the pier."

"Oh," Seth realised she was embarrassed to be seen with him. "I'm that embarrassing, huh?"

"No, I just...parties aren't really a great place to have a proper chat and get to know each other. And I can kinda sense you and Coop here are a little uncomfortable,"

"Told you, Marissa, I told you she had decency!"

"Can we go?" Marissa asked eagerly.

"I haven't got a car,"

"I have," Seth jingled his keys. They were walking along the beach within 10 minutes.

"I never realised how pretty it was at night," Summer observed.

"Yeah, only being here when you're drunk at a campfire can do that to you,"

"Cohen!" Summer hit him playfully. Marissa thought they looked like they were a couple already. "Hey, I'll phone Atwood, ask him to come down,"

"Great idea!" Seth said happily. Tonight was strange, but in a very good way. He was hanging around with his best friend, the girl he liked and the most popular guy in school. Summer dialled.

"Damn, he's not picking up his cell. I might have his home." Summer dialled again.

"Hey, Mrs. Atwood...it's Summer...I'm good thank you...I was wondering if you could put Ryan on...oh he's not there?...no it's ok...thank you anyway...bye," Summer flipped her phone shut. "He's not there,"

"I'm going to go. Leave you guys to it," Marissa said. "See you," Marissa walked away, in the opposite direction of the car park.

"Where's she going?" Summer asked.

"I've honestly got no idea," Seth smiled.


	7. Chapter 7

_What do I do? _Ryan thought to himself. Invite her to a party? No, she'd hate that. Write her something. No...then she'd know he wrote stuff. Er...he was buggered.

"Hey," Ryan looked up to see her standing right next to him.

"Oh, er, hey,"

"Summer phoned and your Mom said you weren't home...so, I figured..." Marissa paused. "Maybe you could brush up on your biology,"

"I was busy doing English," Ryan pointed to the notebook that was now closed in his hands.

"You like English, huh?"

"Ssshhh," Ryan put a finger to his lips. "Nobody knows," Marissa laughed.

"Can I see?"

"It's not homework,"

"No? Atwood doing work that isn't compulsory...I didn't think you even did the compulsory stuff."

"Enough with the teasing!" Ryan objected.

"So, can I see?"

"No." Ryan replied.

"Why?"

"Just...no." Ryan said again.

"So, you're parents arguing again?"

"No, actually. They were talking about the soccer scholarship. Apparently I need to stop study with you and be out on jogs."

"Right..."

"Yeah, it all gets a bit annoying."

"So, you don't like it?"

"No...I kinda do, my friends...stuff like that, but...I mean it was never my choice if you get me. If I had had the choice I wouldn't have chosen soccer. It's just now...I...it's kinda like I don't know how to be anyone else apart from the jerk...I didn't even realise I was a jerk until you came along,"

"You're learning,"

"Have you ever had to choose between two things?"

"Yeah,"

"I mean, like something that could affect your whole life...not just your future, but your whole life...present and future."

"Can't say I have,"

"It's confusing."

"I'm confused...what are you talking about?"

"It doesn't matter." Marissa took a chance and grabbed the notebook out of his hands. "Marissa!" Ryan shouted, but she had already run onto the beach and opened it. "Don't read it," But she did.

_I know that you don't feel for me_

_The way I feel for you._

_We're good friends, I value that,_

_There's nothing you need do._

_But as a friend I need to tell you_

_What is in my heart._

_An unsaid truth is like a wall,_

_Keeping us apart._

_My love for you will go nowhere,_

_Will just remain with me._

_I'll hold it in my quiet arms_

_And feel it constantly._

He had written that? Ryan Atwood, most popular guy in school, biggest idiot Marissa had ever met...wrote poetry...about her.

"You?...poetry?...me?" Marissa stuttered. Ryan slowly walked over to her, took the notebook from her hands and sat back down on the lifeguard station. If she wanted to do something she would have to make a move. He needed to know how she felt. Marissa walked over to him slowly.

"But...you're Ryan Atwood...you're a jerk...you don't 'like' girls...you...you think I'm a geek...you're an idiot...you...you...you're a jock...you can't write poetry..."

"Lay off on the insults," Ryan said quietly.

"Sorry...but...it's weird,"

"It's weird for you? What about me? I was fine until you came along! Until you came along I didn't think about this stuff. I didn't think about whether I wanted to get the soccer scholarship. I didn't think poetry was anything other than a secret hobby. I didn't think I was a jerk. I didn't feel guilty when I was at a party. I didn't feel bad about myself. I didn't get nervous around a girl. I didn't reject girls! I didn't worry about what someone thought of me. And you know what? I didn't get hurt." Ryan paused. "You can call me a jerk as much as you want...but you're worse. You think because I hang around with people like Luke and because I play soccer that I'm totally immune to feeling anything? You didn't even give me a chance! You just looked down your nose at me from day one,"

"You hit on me!"

"I asked you out in the only way I knew how to. I don't know how to treat a girl like you. I don't know how to treat a girl that I actually want to be with, someone that makes my stomach flip inside out every time I see them...a girl that I would do anything for. And I know I don't match up to your expectations. And I know that I'm probably nowhere near good enough for you. I know you think I'm the definition of idiot and that you wouldn't want to go out with me in a million years, but you could have been nicer about it instead of calling me a jerk every spare second you had!"

"You're barely ever nice to me!" She screamed back. She wasn't sure why they were shouting at each other. He was saying the most wonderful things.

"Right, of course I'm not!" Ryan said sarcastically. "I haven't even done that English homework yet!" Marissa realised his reference to one of their study sessions where he had helped her with her homework. "You're the only person in the world that knows I come to this place! And you really think someone else would invite Cohen?"

"What?"

"Yeah, I invited Cohen to the stupid party. I had planned to set him up with Summer. And I sure didn't do it just to watch them being a happy couple or as a favour to him,"

"Why did you do it then?!" She wasn't even sure why they were shouting. The poem was beautiful.

"Because you always talk about how he still likes her!"

"NO I DON'T!"

"YES YOU DO! AND THE ONLY REASON I HELPED HIM WAS BECAUSE I THOUGHT HIM BEING HAPPY WOULD MAKE YOU HAPPY!" Marissa stared into his eyes, tears now streaming her face and before she knew what she was doing she pulled his face to hers and crushed her lips onto his. He kissed her back, before parting and placing his hands on her cheeks and gently wiping away her tears with his thumbs.

"Are you ok?" He asked gently. Marissa nodded.

"You're not really a jerk, are you?" Ryan shook his head slowly. He wasn't sure what to do now.

"Do...you wanna...walk back to the car?"

"You're passing up the chance to pull some moves on me?" Marissa teased.

"Come on," Ryan began walking away, notebook in his arm. Marissa ran after him and placed her hand in his.

"You're going to need some lessons on this," She smiled.

"Definitely." Ryan smiled back. They reached the car in minutes; Ryan turned to her a serious look on his face. "Don't tell anyone about the...poetry. Or about this...at least until we've figured out what this is..."

"You're embarrassed to be with me?"

"No...no...I just...I'm Ryan Atwood...do you have any idea how much stick I'd get for dating someone...never mind dating you...I've got no problem with you...but they do...and I mean...their my friends, even if you think their worthless...and I..."

"It's ok," She said softly. "So...at school we ignore each other...?"

"No...I mean...I don't know..." Ryan stuttered. "I don't really know...how to do...dating...and I...I want to figure it out...and I really like you...you know I do...it's just...this changes a lot of stuff for me...it would change even more if people knew,"

"Again, it's ok," She said softly. "I've tamed bad boy Ryan," She laughed.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"I thought you hated me...I mean I thought you thought I was a jerk, an idiot...and now you're...I mean you kissed me,"

"I...you tried quite a few ways of getting me...but the truth is...do you mind if I use a quote? It's incredibly cheesy, but I can't think of any other way to explain it,"

"Go for it,"

"Flatter me, and I may not believe you. Criticize me, and I may not like you. Ignore me, and I may not forgive you. Encourage me, and I will not forget you. Love me and I may be forced to love you. I...the poem you were open...for the first time it was raw Ryan Atwood without anything added in. No pressure, no jerkiness...just you. And I kinda like that Ryan Atwood,"

"'Kinda like'...that's not to encouraging,"

"I like that you a lot..." She kissed him again. This time softly.

"That's better," He whispered.

"You were nervous weren't you?"

"So, that's what it feels like...thanks for telling me, I thought I'd come down with something," Ryan joked.

"You're quite the joker aren't you?"

"I know," He smiled crookedly at her.

"You've really never been nervous before?"

"Erm...there was this one time in 3rd grade and it was bring a parent to school, you know and they talk about your job and stuff. Well, my Dad was away on a business trip and my Mom was at some spa...she doesn't really have a job anyway, so they insisted I take the pool boy. I was practically shitting myself on the car ride there. I'd had nightmares about standing up in class and having to introduce the pool boy. Luke was my best mate, even back then, but he laughed at me, so I punched him...gave him a bloody nose. Figures why I'm so popular...people are just shit scared. So, there was that time...and then there was that time I asked you for your number in the cafeteria,"

"You were nervous then?"

"And the time I asked you to the party when we were in biology...and then at every single study session..."

"Oh, so you react to nervousness by being stupid? Hey, your grades should improve now you're not nervous around me anymore,"

"You didn't just call me stupid!" He laughed and tickled her.

"Stop it!" She screamed through laughter. Then he wrapped his arms around her waist and looked straight into her eyes.

"And who says I'm not nervous anymore."

"You won't be once you have something to take your mind off it," She smiled and kissed him slowly.

"You're pretty good at this,"

"What you thought I was a total nun?"

"Erm...no comment," Ryan replied.

"RYAN!"

"What? It's kinda logical,"

"So you thought I'd never had a boyfriend...?"

"Erm...no offence to you or Seth but...you chose to hang out with him. I kinda figured that you were a geek at your old school too,"

"So I'm a geek?" She faked hurt in her voice.

"No...a little...but it's nice..." Marissa laughed. "So at your old school..."

"At my old school you could be popular and still work hard,"

"So it's like an alternate universe to this?" Ryan joked.

"Very alternate universe."

"Do you miss it?" Ryan sat on the car bonnet, staring up into the starry night sky.

"Sometimes, but my Mom really likes it here and living with my Dad would be really di..." Ryan stopped her from saying anymore.

"It doesn't really matter what your parents want. I guess that sounds selfish, but trust me...don't let them make decisions for you cause pretty soon you'll end up just like Holly or one of the other...what did you call them the other day?"

"Skanks?"

"Yep, one of those other skanks. And that wouldn't be good,"

"So, I know what your parents want...the whole soccer scholarship, blah, blah...what do you want to do with your life?"

"Wow...the big question..." Ryan thought for while. "I...I guess and I don't know,"

"You don't know?"

"Nope. You?"

"I've got the whole thing planned. I'm going to get into an Ivy League College doing medicine and then I'm going to intern somewhere in California, then travel around about, you know, like, Doctors without Borders. Then I'll find the right guy and I'll settle down,"

"This is the same right guy that you want to throw stones at your window at night?"

"And then take me on a moonlit walk; yes...generally the idea is that you marry the 'right' guy." She smiled.

"Awesome,"

"So you seriously haven't thought about stuff like that?"

"I...life never goes to plan...so when you make plans, you're bound to get disappointed."

"You don't even have a little bit of an idea?" Ryan looked at her sideways.

"There's no point having an idea, I know what my life is going to be already,"

"And how do you know that?"

"I'll get the soccer scholarship, maybe get signed for a team, if I don't I'll just fall back on my parents money...they won't care, it's what they expect of me,"

"You should expect more of yourself,"

"I think we should be getting back, your Mom will be worrying,"

"No she won't, she'll be overjoyed that I'm socialising with your lot,"

"OW!" Ryan exclaimed. "My lot?" He laughed. "So, whereas any other parent would hate their little girl to be hanging around with the kids who have parties, get drunk, smoke..."

"My mother takes joy from it," Marissa finished his sentence for him.

"I'll drive you home," Ryan opened the car door for Marissa.

"Thanks," They drove. He turned on a CD. "You like Journey?"

"Yeah,"

"I expected you to be the Kanye West kinda guy,"

"Can't stand rap,"

"Hmmm...interesting," Marissa

"What do you like?"

"I'm kinda into indie stuff at the moment...I guess it's a combination of Seth's influence and dealing with the divorce,"

"How is that? The divorce...I mean...how are you about it all?"

"They've signed the papers...so, it's official...I guess I'm fine."

"Talking to your Mom yet?"

"Only when I have to,"

"Have you met your Mom's boyfriend?"

"Yep. And I don't think boyfriend is quite the right word,"

"Manfriend?"

"Cavemanfriend,"

"That old?"

"That old,"

"Do you think they're serious?"

"Of course, he's a millionaire," Marissa said bitterly.

"Right,"

"How are things with your parents?"

"Dad's away on 'business'"

"Which means...?"

"He's with another girl,"

"Girl?"

"Yep...we're a right pair aren't we? Your Mom likes cavemen and my Dad could probably get turned on by a baby,"

"Ryan!"

"I just state facts," He grinned at her. They had arrived at her house. "I'll see you on Monday after school," And there it was again. He was being amazing...the perfect guy...and then he brought her down to earth. He didn't want people knowing about that him, the Ryan that she liked...he didn't want people knowing about her.

"Remember your books," She smiled.

"You know...I...maybe...I mean..."

"Spit it out," She laughed.

"Erm...maybe I could catch up and biology another time and we could...I dunno...erm..." She was confused. He said he didn't want people knowing and now he was asking her on a date? He breathed deeply. "My Dad has a boat," Ryan finished eventually. Although all this time, Marissa had noticed he'd never actually asked her a direct question about dating. He seemed to be avoiding the phrase. She decided to not read too much into it.

"I'd love to," She smiled.

"Cool...I'll...be here at the normal time and I can take you down and..."

"Sounds great,"


	8. Chapter 8

"Hey," Marissa greeted Ryan with a smile as she opened the door.

"Hey," Ryan smiled back. "You ready?"

"Nearly, just come in a sec," Ryan obligingly stepped into the hallway. Marissa ran up the stairs.

"Ryan," Julie greeted the teenager. "I thought Marissa said you were studying at your house today, something to do with a fragile skeleton model that you couldn't move?"

"Yeah, we are, she just told me to wait for her,"

"She's never ready. It's a trait I passed down to her," Julie laughed. "Here she is," Marissa had joined them, sweater in hand. "Honey what do you need a sweater for?"

Marissa hesitated. "You know I get cold easily," Marissa replied innocently.

"You do?"

"Course I do and Ryan said his house is quite cold. Anyways, I'll see you in a bit,"

"See you," Julie replied.

"Bye Mom," Marissa waved vaguely before shutting the door. "What did my Mom say?"

"Nothing,"

"She must have said something, some comment about getting me to go to parties," Ryan looked at her blankly as he began driving. "Nothing? That's odd,"

"Maybe she's not so bad after all,"

"No, she's bad...she's probably just trying a different approach,"

"Ok...seen the caveman recently?"

"He came for dinner yesterday."

"And how was that?" Ryan forced himself to keep his eyes on the road. Her beauty was too distracting.

"It was pretty awesome," She replied; Ryan thought for a while.

"Are you being sarcastic...or...cause I really can't tell,"

"No, it was actually great. Kaitlin threw her dinner at him. It was one of the best things I've ever seen,"

"So, your little sister...shares your...hatred?"

"Yep, we're closer now than ever before. I must say, I quite enjoy our meetings on how we can sabotage things,"

"You have...meetings?"

"Of course. No sabotage can work without thorough, strategic planning."

"Sounds fun,"

"It is. You're telling me you never had little secret meetings with your brother on ways to prank people?" His brother. Wow. He hadn't talked about Trey for years. In fact, Ryan didn't remember telling Marissa he had a brother.

"How...how do you know about my brother?"

"Seth...mentioned it...is it a problem?"

"Do you know about...about what happened?"

"Happened? Seth said he was older than you so I just figured he had moved out,"

"Right..."

"Is...erm...did he...?" Marissa wasn't sure what had happened...she was totally confused. Ryan seemed to stiffen when she had mentioned about a brother though.

"We don't talk about it." Ryan said bluntly.

"Oh..." Marissa was stuck for something to say, but luckily Ryan pulled up and got out of the car.

"Here we go." He led her to a huge white boat.

"When you said boat I didn't think you meant ocean liner,"

"You're exaggerating," He laughed as he climbed aboard and reached out a hand to help her up. Once they were both safely on board he untied the vessel and then started the engines.

"If it has engines what are the sails for?" Marissa asked.

"The engines are just meant to be a back up, in case there isn't any wind...but Dad never had time to teach me and Trey was...you know what...engines are just faster...and what teenage boy doesn't like fast stuff?"

"True," Marissa laughed, curious as to why Ryan had cut himself off, but not wanting to pry.

"So...I've never done a...date...before." Ryan said as he slowed the boat down, allowing him to leave the wheel. He gestured towards a hamper. "And I can't ask my friends...so...I Googled," She laughed.

"You Googled what to do on a date?"

"Is that bad?"

"It's kinda...cute,"

"Cute? That wasn't really the adjective I was hoping for..."

"Awwww...does it dent your masculinity?" Marissa teased.

"You just sit down and eat before you can hurt me anymore." Ryan joked.

"Alright, Cap'ain," Marissa saluted and sat down next to the picnic hamper that Ryan had brought along.

"Take whatever you want, I wasn't sure if you would have eaten or not," Ryan sat opposite her on the plush leather seating. She pulled open the lid of the woven hamper and looked inside.

"Holy shit!"

"What? Is it wrong? Is there too much?" Ryan said panicked. He had wanted everything to be perfect. "I can take it back. We can throw it overboard or..." Marissa giggled.

"It's fine," Marissa laughed. "It's more than fine, it's...fantastic,"

"Oh...erm...well..." Ryan was stuck for something to say. "Good," He settled on one simple word, before smiling at her. She'd grown used to his smile. Half his mouth raised, barely showing any teeth. It was a beautiful smile, beautiful enough to keep her eyes from staring at his. They were blue, blue as the oceans, spectacular.

"Though I must ask...is this like meant to feed an army?"

"I...I didn't know what food you liked,"

"So...you got a little bit of everything...that's cute,"

"You really need to stop calling me cute,"

"Awwww...I'm sowwy," Marissa said playfully before pulling out some nachos and dips from the hamper.

"So...erm..." Ryan began. "What do we do...?"

"We..." Marissa searched her mind. "Talk."

"About...?"

"I don't know. What do we usually talk about?"

"Biology, English...the extra dick that you think is situated on my head,"

"I _never _called you a dickhead!" Marissa protested.

"Really?"

"Really,"

"You sure?"

"Yes..."

"So...I could throw you overboard if I found out you were lying...?"

"I might have said it _once_!" He grinned.

"Dishonesty doesn't suit you,"

"It doesn't? I better stop making you think I actually like you then," Ryan clasped his hand to his chest, pretending he had just been shot. Marissa laughed and threw a slice of ham at him. Ryan let his mouth hang open for a second before throw food back at her and soon they had started a food war.


	9. Chapter 9

"Where's Dad?" Ryan asked as he walked into the kitchen, finding his mother with a glass in her hand and a bottle of vodka on the side. He didn't even know why he had asked, he already knew the answer.

"He had to go away with work,"

"Of course," Ryan mumbled.

"What?" Dawn asked, standing upright and tensing.

"Nothing, Mom,"

"RYAN!?" He should have known better than to start a fight when she was drunk but he didn't care. He really didn't care anymore.

"We both know he's not working!"

"He called me from the office!" She denied her husband's extramarital affairs, no matter how much evidence was put in front of her. She always denied it. Ryan knew that deep down she knew it was true. He couldn't understand why she didn't just divorce his sorry ass. He hated his Dad. He had turned her to this. To the drunk mess that stood before him now. He remembered his old Mom. The Mom that he could love without difficulty.

"HE'S CHEATING ON YOU!" Ryan shouted. Dawn slapped him round the face. The sound echoed around the large empty house.

"GET OUT!" Ryan stood unmoving. "GET OUT NOW!" Ryan still didn't move. She threw the glass at him and it hit the wall just above his head, smashing into a million tiny pieces and falling on his face. He felt a sharp pain in his forehead. "GET OUT!"

"Merry Christmas to you too," He muttered before grabbing his leather jacket and storming outside. He had no idea where to go. Christmas bloody Eve and he was alone. It was tempting to go to the lifeguard stand. But he knew what he really wanted. _Who _he really wanted. He got into the Range Rover and drove. He drove around for a while. Not thinking, not listening to music. Just driving, trying to escape. He couldn't go where he wanted. No, she was going to happy. And he never wanted to make her unhappy.

So he drove to where he always went the other times he was thrown out. He'd spent quite a few Christmases there. Thinking about it in the past 5 years he hadn't had a single Christmas Eve with his family.

"Ryan, sweetie," Luke's Mom hugged him tightly, knowing the situation without even asking. She noticed the red mark appearing on his face from the slap and cuts where shards of glass had scraped him. Blood trickled down his cheeks and forehead. "Let's clean you up," Ryan noticed the extra pairs of shoes in the hallway. "You can add to our little gathering," She led him towards the kitchen.

"So, erm, who's..." His question was answered when they entered the room, everyone stood around sipping on glasses of wine and bottles of beer. The Cohen's and the Cooper's. That was just brilliant. Marissa was never meant to find out. She couldn't find out.

"Oh, you've all moved," Meredith exclaimed, they had been in the living room earlier. "Carson, why don't you start a board game in the living room?" Her husband took a hint and everybody apart from Luke, Marissa and Seth followed him into another room.

"What's going on with him?" Julie whispered as she left, no one answered her.

"Luke, get him some ice," Meredith left the room in search of a first aid kit. Luke quickly opened the freezer and searched around for a while before pulling out a bag of frozen peas.

"You alright?" Luke asked, handing him the bag. Ryan touched it to his face, conscious of Seth and Marissa watching him.

"Yeah," If only he lived in New York, he could make up a story about slipping the ice. "Just, erm, fell over,"

"And got glass in your face?" Seth asked unbelievingly.

"There must have been glass on the floor, Cohen," Luke said quickly. "Ryan, you need my Dad to go over check on your Mom?"

"She's probably out for the night by now,"

"Why would someone need to check on his Mom?" Seth asked confused.

"But out," Luke snapped.

"Ok, I just wondered why, cause he's turned up on your..."

"Because no everybody has the perfect little family!" Ryan shouted. The pinched his temples. "Sorry. I've got a short fuse,"

"I'm sorry. I just...I don't deal with 'situations' well, so I do this thing where I just kinda go straight to the point and then I get nervous and I talk all the time and I..."

"You talk all the time anyway, Seth," Marissa said, making the little group laugh. Meredith came back in.

"Ryan, come sit down over here,"

"I'm really ok, Mrs Ward,"

"I've got to check if there's any glass in and then clean it, come on," Ryan reluctantly sat down and allowed Luke's Mom to clean his wounds. "So, you staying with us tonight?"

"I...you've got guests, so I should just head home,"

"Don't be silly, you can be our extra guest," She said, dabbing an antiseptic wipe on his wounds. "We can get your Mom over as well; make sure she's ok,"

"Leave her," Ryan said decisively and firmly.

"We should at least check if she's..."

"No, you shouldn't. You should enjoy your Christmas." Ryan took the cloth from Meredith and began wiping it on his face. "Go into the living room,"

"Ryan, I want to make sure you're ok,"

"I'm walking, talking...I'm good," She eyed him.

"Luke, look after him," She said, to her son, before returning to everybody else.

"Shit, dude," Luke let out a breath, finally able to talk with his best friend now the adult had left the room. "What happened?" Ryan glanced at Seth and Marissa.

"You want us to go?" Marissa asked.

"Erm...no, no, it's cool," Ryan said, sticking a plaster **(band-aid in America?)** over the cut on his forehead.

"So...you wanna spill?" Luke asked.

"I...I was stupid, I just kinda...lost it for a second."

"Lost it?" Luke questioned, confused about Ryan's usage of 'lost it'. He knew Ryan wasn't violent towards him Mom.

"I...I started an argument," He said quickly. "I should go check on her,"

"I'll come with," Luke said, grabbing a coat.

"Us too," Luke and Ryan looked at each other and then to Seth and Marissa.

"I've got no problem as long as you don't tell anyone I hung out with you, Cohen," Luke looked over to Ryan who seemed to be deep in thought.

"If...if you tell _anyone _about _this," _Ryan pointed at his injuries. "Or about anything you see or hear...I will destroy you," Ryan glared at Seth, then looked upon Marissa a little softer, but still with the ferocity in his eyes.

"Sure, cross my heart, hope to die, stick a needle in my..."

"And you've got to talk less, Cohen," Luke said. "Take my car?"

"I've got mine," Ryan said.

"Let's go then,"

The whole drive Marissa just wanted hug him, to hold him. To tell him it was alright. She wanted to talk to him about it, for him to talk to her. For him to have no more secrets. She wasn't mad at him for not talking to her about it, she understood. She didn't know the full situation, she could guess though.

"_Sometimes I wish my parents were divorced,"_

"_What?" _

"_They hate each other." Ryan answered simply. "It's strange that when they got married they felt that the other person was perfect for them, that they truly loved them and now...now they can't even be in the same room. It's like all the things they used to love about each other they now can't stand."_

Their conversation at the lifeguard stand came flashing back to her, like a light being switched on. There was something under the surface, something bigger, and she hadn't seen it. For 3 months they had been seeing each other and she hadn't seen it. She didn't feel angry, she felt guilty.

Ryan stopped the car and got out, walking slowly. He held the front door open for everyone then shut it behind him.

"Mom?" He called out into the dark house. He switched on a few lights and began searching, the others following after him. He tried the kitchen first but had no luck. Next he went into the living room, the lights were out. He switched them on. His Mom was laid out the floor, two bottles that were once full of some kind of spirit, most probably vodka, lay on the floor beside her motionless body. Ryan rushed over to her and pulled her head up and rested it on his knee.

"Mom," He shook her, desperately trying to wake her up. Luke, Seth and Marissa stood behind him, unsure of what to do. "Mom!" Dawn slowly opened her eyes and looked up at his face. "Mom," Ryan spoke her name softly now.

"Sweetie," She muttered coarsely, taking in the injuries on his face. "I'm so sorry, sweetie, I'm so sorry," She mumbled over and over again.

"It's ok Mom," Ryan whispered, standing up and pulling her with him. "Let's get you to bed," He pulled her arm so it was around his shoulder then he looked over at the others who were stood still as statues. "Luke. Help,"

"Yeah," Luke shook himself. "Of course," He grabbed the other side and the boys took her upstairs. Luke came down almost 5 minutes later, leaving Ryan up there alone.

"Is he...?" Seth began, unsure what to say. Ryan obviously wasn't ok, so it sounded stupid asking if he was.

"I..." Luke sat down on the sofa, the other two joined him. "I've never actually seen his Mom...well...like that. I mean he comes to us sometimes...a lot actually...he...I've known...but I just...I figured..." Luke was speechless. It had finally hit him just how bad his best friend's home life was.

"He...they cover it up...so well..." Seth said.

"Yeah, I think my family and your parent's are the only ones who know,"

"My parent's?" Surprise showed through Seth's voice.

"Your Mom's been at our house when he's...before."

"So when he brags about being in big bust ups...?" Pieces of the puzzle were beginning to fit together.

"It's his Mom...or his Dad on the off chance that he bothers coming home."

"I think if anyone is explaining it should be me," Ryan said from the doorway. He had listened to the whole conversation. Luke looked up at him.

"Sorry, I just..."

"It's cool," Ryan sat down with them. "Can I crash at yours tonight?"

"Of course, you don't even need to ask." Luke said without hesitation.

"Seth," Ryan looked at Seth. "I...I'll trust you. But if you tell anyone about tonight..."

"I won't. If you ever want to..."

"Your Mom an alcoholic?" Seth sat silently. "Didn't think so," Ryan muttered quietly. "I...I need to just...sort everything out. Give me 10 minutes,"

"Can I use the toilet?" Marissa asked.

"Sure,"

"We'll be in the car," Luke said, Seth followed him out the door. The minute they left Marissa had flung herself at him, hugging him tight.

"Umm..." Ryan stood rigid, unsure of what to do.

"Are you ok?" She asked, brushing her thumb over the red mark on his face.

"I'm good," He muttered turning away and beginning to clear up the bottles his Mom had left.

"You know...it's ok to not be strong, everything is just perfect Ryan...for a bit,"

"Huh?" Ryan didn't turn to look at her. He knew exactly what she was talking about.

"I mean...it's ok to let your guard down," Ryan just shrugged and continued tidying. "I'm sorry," She said quietly.

"You haven't done anything," He said, still not turning to look at her.

"I should have noticed and...I should have asked, I mean there I was talking about problems with the caveman and my parents' divorce and here you are with..."

"With a really nice girl apologising to me for no good reason." Ryan finally looked at her. "It's...there's no way you should or could have done anything. It's my problem and I'll deal with it,"

"I can help..."

"Really? Know any good rehab centres? Know anyone that can force my Dad to be good to her?" Ryan's voice became louder with everyone question. "DO YOU KNOW SOMEONE WHO CAN REWIND TIME AND STOP MY BROTHER FUCKING UP OUR LIVES?! DO YOU!?" She stood before him, shaking slightly as his voice became more ferocious. "EVERYONE SAYS THEY UNDERSTAND, THAT THEIR 'THERE' FOR ME! BUT UNLESS YOU CAN DO THOSE THINGS YOU CAN'T HELP! NO ONE CAN HELP!" He stormed out into the kitchen. She heard the bottles being thrown into the trashcan, then silence. She stood rigid on the spot. He came in, calmer and looking guilty.

"I'm sorry," His eyes looked into hers apologetically.

"Rage issues?" She asked. "You and Summer are like two peas in a pod," Marissa had hung out with Summer a lot since her relationship with Seth progressed. They kept it secret, just like Ryan and Marissa. The four of them were the only ones who knew about the two secret couples.

"I guess," She took a step toward him and placed her hands in his.

"You know...if you want to talk about it...or about what happened with your brother..." He raised an eyebrow at her. "Right, when have you ever talked about anything...erm...look just...if you ever need someone to give you a band aid or some ice or..." She trailed off. She was confused about the whole situation, but mostly about his brother. Something bad had obviously happened. Whenever she mentioned it or tried to get him to talk he refused, it was a no go area and she had decided it to leave it.

"Thank you," He said, almost whispering.

"I'll go join the others." She squeezed his hands before letting go of them and leaving.


	10. Chapter 10

There was a knock at the door.

"Come in," Mr Scott-the biology teacher-shouted. A student entered.

"Erm, Coach wants to see Ryan Atwood immediately," Ryan gathered his things and stood up, but the teacher held his hand up in a stop signal.

"And why does coach think he can pull my students out of important lessons?"

"Erm...I..."

"It's not like soccer is going to help you in your future, right Atwood?" Mr Scott looked towards Ryan, who now stood awkwardly by his desk.

"It kinda does, sir," Ryan said. "I'm planning on get a scholarship to a college,"

"Right...and what percentage of college athletes actually go pro?" His question was rhetorical, but Ryan knew the answer.

"Less than 3 percent, sir." The teacher was taken aback. "I might be dumb at science, but I can research stuff that's important to my future."

"Science isn't important to your future?" It was meant to be rhetorical, that was obvious in the teacher's tone of voice, but Ryan still answered.

"I'm going to be an athlete, not a scientist,"

"And how come you're so sure on that one?"

"Because I've been working towards that goal since I was 4. I gotta go see coach," Ryan slung his bag over his shoulder and left. The teacher stood dumbfounded for a minute, before clapping his hands together.

"DNA. Facts. Anyone?"

***************

"What did Coach want?" Seth asked. They were all in his pool house. The two girls had tried to force them to watch the Valley but they had refused. Ryan now lay on the floor attempting to work through some biology homework.

"Nothing," Ryan didn't even look up.

"Come on, Atwood. Spill," Summer looked at questioningly. Ryan looked up at the other 3, who were sat on the bed.

"Guys, it was really nothing,"

"Come on!"

"It was just soccer stuff, you guys aren't interested in that,"

"Most of what Cohen says is just about comics, he knows full well we ain't interested in that,"

"Yeah." Seth searched for a comeback. "And Summer only ever talks about the Valley,"

"Look, it was just about the game,"

"Not buying it. If it was he would have told you at practice,"

"Just leave it. Can you guys just tell me these answers? I wasn't even in class,"

"Cause you were with Coach discussing some mystery..." Seth thought. "Maybe he's not too keen to fess up because something WROOOONG is going on. Watch out Riss," Marissa hit Seth playfully.

"Shut your huge mouth for one fucking second!" Ryan shouted. Everyone went silent. "I'm...look, I'm sorry," Ryan began gathering his things. "My Dad's back today." Ryan stood up. "Better go stop world war 4." He mumbled quietly.

"Shouldn't it be world war 3?" Seth pointed out, Summer hit him. Cohen, she mouthed.

"We've already had that in my house. I'll see you all...later," Ryan closed the door behind him.

"Something's going on," Seth pointed out the obvious. Marissa got up quickly and followed Ryan.

"Hey," She called running to catch up with him. He turned around.

"Erm...hey," Ryan wore a confused look on his face.

"I just...wanted check you were...ok,"

"Last time I checked I have no disability preventing me from doing anything, I'm doing pretty good at school, I have money and I have friends." Ryan paused. "I'm...great," He smiled weakly at her.

"How's your Mom?" She was fed up with dancing about the subject, she had to be blunt. She'd been hinting at it since that Christmas Eve and that was a month ago.

"Erm...she's..." Ryan stopped. He looked as if he were having a debate inside his head. He was. He had never talked to anyone about it, not properly. But then Marissa wasn't just anybody. He closed his eyes briefly, the inner pain washing over him. When he opened them she had taken a couple of steps closer to him. "She...erm...she gets worse...when Frank's home,"

"Frank?"

"My Dad."

"Oh..."

"Yeah."

"When's your Dad due in?"

"In like..." Ryan was cut off by his phone. He checked the caller ID. Dickhead flashed up on screen. "It's him...I've got to get..."

"Sure," Marissa smiled sweetly.

"Hello." She noticed it wasn't his usual hey and that he seemed to tighten up, to be on guard as he spoke. "Right. Of course. Business? Yeah. Thought so. I've gotta go." Ryan snapped the phone shut and returned it to his pocket. "Turns out he's due in about...3 weeks," Marissa closed the gap between them and hugged him. He hadn't quite gotten used to the hugging yet, but he was beginning to. He was beginning to really like it. She pulled back.

"Still need some help with that biology?" She smiled at him.

"Thanks...but...I'm just gunna...go." Ryan turned and was about to leave when she pulled him back.

"You have to kiss your girlfriend goodbye," She pouted. He pecked her on the cheek before turning again, this time she allowed him to leave. She put her hand to her cheek, feeling where his cold lips had pressed against it.

***************

"Is Mr Atwood not joining us today?" Mr Scott looked around the class, expecting one of them to retell an excuse Ryan had told them to give. Someone always did.

But nobody did.

The class was silent, looking at each other, shrugging. Marissa, Seth and Summer all exchanged worried glances. The door flung open.

"Atwood," The teacher spoke coldly.

"Well, good afternoon to you too, sir," Ryan said cheekily before settling down into his usual place.

"You're staying behind after this lesson,"

"As much as I'd love to spend my free time with you, I'm afraid I can't,"

"And what's today's excuse? Soccer?"

"No, biology,"

"What?"

"I've got a tutor session and you wouldn't want to cut into Marissa's time because of me,"

"How about you do your tutor session here?"

"Can't sir. All my work's at home," The teacher gave up and continued the lesson, he had given up trying to get through to Atwood, although he had noticed a defiant improvement in not just his grade, but also his general attitude since he had been paired with Marissa. Ryan wore a triumphant smile the whole time. The bell for the end of school went and Ryan got up out of his seat. Marissa and Seth hurried off whilst him and Summer loitered around with the gang.

"You actually going to the tutor session?" Luke asked.

"Got to, she reports back to Scott, and my Dad will kill me if he hears I skip or anything,"

"When have you bothered about what your Dad thinks?" Someone asked.

"I don't, it's just, you know, college and everything. If I don't get the scholarship I'll be depending on him, so better stay in his good books,"

"We all know you'll get it,"

"Yeah," Ryan pulled his backpack onto his shoulder. "Party later?" They always had one on a Friday night.

"Holly's beach house,"

"I'll be there,"

"See you,"

"Hey, Atwood,"

"Yeah?" Ryan turned back around to Summer.

"Can I grab a lift?"

"Sure," That happened every day. They'd of course end up at Seth's house. His parents were the ones they trusted most to not tell everyone about the kids hanging out. In fact they trusted them completely.

"We brought supplies," Summer held up a bag of shopping as she entered the pool house. It had become their regular hang out. Larger than Seth's room it had plenty of room for the four of them; it also provided much needed privacy.

"Great, I'm starving,"

"Where's Ryan?" Marissa asked.

"Probably brooding somewhere. That's not important, Summer's the one with the food," Marissa rolled her eyes and looked at Summer expectantly.

"Don't worry, your lover's just coming, he got a phone call," And as she finished Ryan walked into the pool house. "Who was it?"

"Mom, she's gone off to some spa or something for the weekend,"

"Ooohh, I know what this means," Seth said. "You'll have like a big party, like on the Valley...for the cool kids of course," Everyone looked at Seth curiously.

"The Valley? Are you sure you're not gay?" Ryan asked.

"Summer makes me watch it! Just 'cause your girlfriend doesn't physically abuse you into watching chick flicks and stupid TV shows,"

"Ok...and no party,"

"What?! Come on Ryan, this is like my fantasy, I mean of course I won't be there, but you'll be there and you can tell me all about it and it'll be like I was there and..."

"No party Seth,"

"Really?" Marissa and Summer asked at the same time, both surprised.

"No party." He had another idea. "No parties at all this weekend,"

"You're skipping tonight?" Summer asked.

"Yeah,"

"And you'll explain that...how?"

"I'm Ryan Atwood. Since when did I need an explanation?" It scared Marissa how cocky he was sometimes, but it was a facade, she knew that. It was his method that meant he didn't have to open up to people, which also meant he didn't have to open himself up to the hurt that usually came along with that.

"True,"

"What _are _you going to do then?" Seth asked curiously.

"I've got an idea,"

"Marissa outside with me now." Summer grabbed Marissa and dragged her away.

"What, Sum?"

"He's got an _idea_ about this weekend,"

"I know he just..." Marissa cottoned on to what Summer was getting at. "Oh...you really think...?"

"He's Ryan Atwood. He's held out for 4 months, I doubt he'll wait much longer."

"Ok...erm...so...I..."

"Are you a virgin?"

"Of course not, I'm 17,"

"Riss?"

"Ok, maybe I am,"

"It's ok. It's nice to know that I'm not the only one,"

"You're..." Summer hushed her.

"Don't tell anyone,"

"Of course I won't!"

"So...are you...ready?"

"I like him more than I've ever liked anyone else..."

"Good. Well...be prepared."

"I will..."

"This is so weird..."

"You think?"

"We better get back in there," Summer said and dragged her inside once again.

**January 22****nd****.**

**Edward VII crowned.**

**Happy Birthday Sam Cooke and Sir Francis Bacon.**

**R.I.P Heath Ledger.**

**Everyday has a story.**


	11. Chapter 11

"I'm thirsty," Marissa wriggled her way out of Ryan's strong hold and stood up. "Anyone else?"

"I'm good,"

"Me too,"

"Me three," Marissa left them in the pool house, her mind racing and heart pounding. She entered the kitchen and found herself breathing heavily and resting on a counter. She was so glad Sandy and Kirsten were out. She tried to calm down, think things over. She'd had people telling her for years that it was a big deal, that it was something worth saving for someone special. There was no doubt that Ryan was special to her, very special. But only she and 4 other people in the world knew that. She couldn't believe how stupid it was. She was willing to give away the biggest thing she currently had to a guy who wasn't even willing to go public. She was idiotic. It was crazy. But she couldn't help it. There was something about him...she couldn't place it...it was just something. Something that lay under the surface that stuck her to him. Maybe it was his mystery, his different personas, the fact that the few times he did speak his voice was so mesmerising, his eyes...maybe it was just him, everything about him.

She closed her eyes and tried to make a decision. She heard the door sliding open before she could; she spun round to see Ryan leaning against the doorway. Damn it, why did he have to look so good?

"Hey,"

"Hey," She replied as usual.

"Since when does it take 15 minutes to get a drink?"

"Erm...since...I can't find the glasses," She knew, as well as he did, exactly where the glasses were.

"Well, I better help you out then," He smiled before walking over to her. He stood right next to her and leant over, his arm brushing her head as he reached to the top cupboard, opened it and pulled out a glass for her. He placed it in her hands. Every movement he made seemed to be full of sexual tension, as if every motion was a part of foreplay. It wouldn't usually have seemed like that, Marissa's mind exaggerated everything and he seemed to be moving in slow motion. Suddenly she starting seeing him with his shirt unbuttoned, blowing in the wind. "There you go," His voice brought her back to the present.

"Thanks,"

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah, course, why wouldn't I be?"

"You just seem a little...jumpy,"

"Really? Oh, that's strange,"

"Yeah..." Ryan pondered. "So, I was wondering...you...do you want to stay at mine tonight? Summer says she'll cover..." A thousand thoughts ran through her mind and before she really knew she was doing it she spoke.

"Sure,"

"Great," They stood silent. "Erm...you want to go now?"

"Yeah, I'll get my bag,"

***************

"Are you still thirsty?" Ryan asked as he led her inside. "I got you a glass but didn't give you time to have a drink,"

"Oh yeah, sure,"

"Great," He led her through the large entrance hall and into the kitchen. "Water, coke, juice, milk..."

"Water's great," He handed her a glass.

"I've just got to upstairs, one sec," He ran away and returned 5 minutes later carry a cardboard box, full of DVDs.

"What's that?" She asked confused. She hoped to god it wasn't porn.

"Erm...it's my Mom's chick flicks,"

"What?" She looked at him bemused.

"Seth said that Summer always forces him to watch this crap and...I think every girlfriend in the world has done it...apart from you." He stopped, searching for words. "So I figured...this weekend...we could...watch some," She burst out into a fit of giggles. She had been worrying over nothing. He wanted to watch movies with her. Not just movies, CHICK FLICKS! She noticed him looking confused. He looked ridiculously cute.

"I know it dents your masculine ego, but you're so cute," She smiled as she touched her lips to his.

"I'm buying you a thesaurus,"

"Come on," She grabbed a DVD out of the box and skipped into the living room. Ryan followed after her at a slower pace, starting to regret his gesture before the movie had even begun. When he got into the room Marissa had already sprawled herself across the sofa and the DVD was loading.

"What did you pick?"

"A Walk to Remember,"

"Isn't that really sad?"

"Yeah..." Marissa said, as if asking him to get to the point.

"I mean...I thought you'd want to watch a comedy or something...I mean I'm up for anything but..."

"Sometimes it feels good to cry and be sad...so you watch a sad film..." She could he wasn't going to understand, no matter what she said, so she simply sighed. "It's a girl thing." Ryan raised his eyebrows, but didn't question her anymore, simply pushing her up slightly and lying underneath her, with her head resting against his chest.

"So, what's this about?" Ryan asked as the opening credits came up on the gigantic screen.

"School resident bad boy falls in love with the geek, etc, etc. Then there's more, but you'll have to watch it to find out,"

"Bad boy falls for the geek...now why does that sound familiar?"

"Seth and Summer,"

"Of course..." Ryan teased. "Sure you didn't want to watch this to...I dunno...make me realise that you're too good to keep secret? Or maybe this is your way of telling me you have an incurable, fatal disease..."

"What? How did you know the plot?"

"Marissa, my Mom used to make me and my brother watch these films with her all the time," He laughed slightly. "We'd lie down on this sofa and my brother would sit on that chair," He pointed. "And she'd make popcorn and we'd sit and watch the films. We'd throw popcorn at each other and Mom would get so annoyed cause it would be stuck to everything," He smiled at the memory.

"When was that?"

"Until I was 8,"

"Was that when Trey left?" Marissa felt Ryan tense underneath her; he seemed to clam up whenever his brother was mentioned. This was the first time he had spoken about him voluntarily; in fact she was pretty sure this was the first time she had spoken about him at all.

"Yes," Was all Ryan could manage.

"He must have been quite a lot older,"

"10 years," Marissa could see she wasn't going to get any further with it. Not today anyway.

"What did Coach want?"

"I've missed a few practices."

"How come?"

"I'm not superman. I've got soccer, homework, parties...plus I've got to do stupid tutoring sessions with this mega annoying girl,"

"Really? Hard life you've got. Who's this girl?" She laughed.

"Oh, I doubt you'll know her,"

"Describe her then,"

"Shhh...the film," Marissa pressed pause and rolled over so she could see Ryan's face.

"Describe her," She ordered.

"I don't want to make you jealous or anything,"

"I won't be jealous, promise,"

"Ok...well...she's got eyes...hair...a mouth...some ears...you know, all the normal body parts. She's very funny and sweet and lovely and...beautiful. She's very beautiful. And she's got this boyfriend that she calls cute way too much. And he's charming, sporty, hilarious, brilliant and _really _good looking. He's a pretty good kisser too." She leaned in a kissed him.

"I'd say you were average," She joked.

"Who says I was talking about you? For all you know I could be getting it on with my Math tutor as well..."

"You don't have a Math tutor,"

"That's what you think..."

"Stop it; you're really not funny,"

"And you're really not achieving your goal of stopping me," She kissed him again, this time for passionately.

"That stops you."


	12. Chapter 12

_good people of the world._

_read._

_any of these stories that your patiently waiting to be updated (i think one of them hasn't been updated in quite a few months) will be updated in due course. most of them have half finished chapters that i just cant seem to finish._

_well anyway._

_i have this huge thing in my mind. it's going to be huge._

_it's so huge that i made a blog for it._

_it has some images, showing each of the charcters. _

_alongside them are sort of cryptic things saying the relationships between the characters._

_just type _

_orangesunsets_

_._

_tumblr_

_._

_com_

_all in one._

_please._

_for me?_


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